The Story of a Sad Clown [Poem]

Listen to the sad clown’s story,
understand the sad clown’s state,
see through the sad clown’s glory,
and accept the sad clown’s fate.

Listen to the story of the sad clown.

“I am Pagliacci,” he says,
“I am the light outside and the darkness inside.”
He is the one who entertains, jokes,
and puts laughter into peoples heart.
The joy he brings to everyone around him,
though he doesn’t keep any to himself

On stage, he has the breath of a lion,
but behind the scenes,
there is no make-believe.
No Barnum, no Bailey.
His breath; shallow like fight or flight,
with a heart beating too fast for its own good.

He looks, he seems, he appears,
yet he is not.
He makes them believe that there is a well,
deep and crystal clear,
from where he pulls his strength.
That is the biggest trick he has up his sleeve.

Who is the bigger fool now?
The clown or the ones he deceives?
Oh, how oblivious they are,
and consciously so.
No one wonders, no one asks,
“Is he…?”
And why would they?
Ignorance is bliss.

The colors. The colors!
Oh, the colors he presents to the world!
Bright! Vivid! Vibrant!
But his vision, his eyes, his world,
is all but grey.
Ashen grey, dull grey, bland and bonedry.
Not even a black and white,
so he could distinguish things.
Time begins to flow faster.
One day or one week?
How fast it passes…

How did it come to pass?
When did innocent, joyous, energetic youthfulness
turn into cynicism, hatred, bitterness, and pessimism?
When did he sit next to Charon?
The isolation and detachment from a world he once knew,
cold and dreary,
self-imposed,
like a grave he dug for himself.
Unable to escape on his own.
When more was he in need of a warm and loving embrace?

This is his moment of catharsis.
The moment to let go.
It’s not his fault.
It’s not his fault.
He made his decision to pack his bags
and join the moveable circus of this world.
Is he walking towards a solution
or away from his problems?

Roaring laughter, rolling tears,
tears of joy and tears of pain.
Don’t trust the smile,
trust the eyes that betray the smile.
Applause, applause for the madness!
The spark of madness!
Without it,
he would be nothing.

It’s time for the curtain call.